Midlife Sooner

Ballad of the broken Jeep

Once upon a Sunday morn
We finished our church nursery duty chore
9 little baptists someday will get dunked
some started early by wetting their trunks

jumped in the Jeep counted the offspring
was in for a shock when I turned the key
blah blah blah putt putt thrwart
blasted thing it won't start!

Tried to get a jump from a guy named Jim
he drove a station wagon how embarassin
Jump wouldn't take, the reasons unknown
had to get someone else to take us home.

Eat a quick lunch, be sure to take my phone
jump on the bike and peddle to autozone.
quite a ways 1.97 miles to the place
thought I was in shape, a little flushed in the face

who would have thought autozone was so popular
I leave 30 minutes later with some parts and a starter
I told the guy "this cable end doesn't look the same you jerk!" I didn't actually say that
"oh yeah" he said "the computer says it will work"

One other problem the starter won't fit in my backpack
"can I have a plastic bag" I will have to hold it in a sack
it was main when I hit a drain
plastic ripped and the starter box on the sidewalk it lain

turned around picked it up keep going on my trip
even harder to peddle with only one hand on the grip
set out once again peddling another 2.47 miles I fought
end up laying on the asphalt in the church parking lot

tried this, cleaned that
still no luck car just sat
thought "I bet its the starter"
tried to take it off, got no farther

you see my socket set goes to 14 millimeter
15 where the size of the bolts on the starter
some words are appropriate if you don't get caught
not sure about cussing in a church parking lot

get on my bike, wondering if the thing will ever start
peddle another couple miles to wal mart
I did cut across a mental health facilitie's property
said to myself "you could be committed very easily"

at the store paid 20$ for a cheap socket set
off like bat, another 2 miles tools clanging in my pocket.
laid on the ashpalt bolts where so tight!
who in the heck put these on, good night!

worked and worked and used a lug wrench
got them loose with a certain amount of stench
put the new one on with a torque I trusted
then I noticed my freeze plug was rusted! ( means they are corroded and will leak soon)

another problem for another day
I packed up my bike and tools and drove away
came home the boys were still asleep
kissed my wife and said "lets get a new jeep"

posted by Flippo @ 11:05 AM